July 10, 2010

Yes, It's Called "White Hunters"

“Desperate babes on the prowl! In search of a whitie (whitie!) (whitie!)”

My hostess insisted I would love this flick: “White Hunters” is about a group of Nigerian women determined to find and marry white men. Not that they’re particularly attracted to our pasty flesh; it seems that to be accepted by the other Nigerian gals at their posh salon, they’ve got to prove they too can nab a whitie. Interestingly, in Nigeria being “white” doesn’t mean you’re European, but includes Indians, Asians, and even mixed-race Africans.

After our protagonists try online dating (alas, he’s a 72-year-old lying about his age) and throwing themselves at a poor unsuspecting Indian dude on the street (he’s willing, but they can’t handle his garlic breath), in desperation they summon a witch doctor to help. His prescription for winning the love of a white guy: bury alive a human baby. Thankfully the girls pay their dues; after some accidental love potion hijinks ensue a la A Midsummer Night’s Dream, the cops show up and arrest them for murder. I would have appreciated someone also finding true love in a local African stud and realizing the important lesson that love is color-blind, but at least these girls were presented as pretty mockable.

Hilariously, the white men who were the objects of their wooing were all middle-aged, plump Lebanese or Indian guys who, from the look of it, had never acted a day in their lives. I’m guessing the casting directors had to get a bit desperate. Hm, I should send out some head shots…


Brooke Palmieri said...

It's like a reverse White Chicks where All's Fair When Love is War.

This is my new favorite blog I'm going to tattoo it to my rss feed.

Katherine said...

How cool would it be if you become a famous Nollywood Actor at the same time as you write your thesis?! I seriously think you should go for it.

Alice said...


Can you please bring a copy back to the states?

insizlane said...

I agree with Alice. Please bring back DVDs aplenty.