July 10, 2010
Yes, It's Called "White Hunters"
“Desperate babes on the prowl! In search of a whitie (whitie!) (whitie!)”
My hostess insisted I would love this flick: “White Hunters” is about a group of Nigerian women determined to find and marry white men. Not that they’re particularly attracted to our pasty flesh; it seems that to be accepted by the other Nigerian gals at their posh salon, they’ve got to prove they too can nab a whitie. Interestingly, in Nigeria being “white” doesn’t mean you’re European, but includes Indians, Asians, and even mixed-race Africans.
After our protagonists try online dating (alas, he’s a 72-year-old lying about his age) and throwing themselves at a poor unsuspecting Indian dude on the street (he’s willing, but they can’t handle his garlic breath), in desperation they summon a witch doctor to help. His prescription for winning the love of a white guy: bury alive a human baby. Thankfully the girls pay their dues; after some accidental love potion hijinks ensue a la A Midsummer Night’s Dream, the cops show up and arrest them for murder. I would have appreciated someone also finding true love in a local African stud and realizing the important lesson that love is color-blind, but at least these girls were presented as pretty mockable.
Hilariously, the white men who were the objects of their wooing were all middle-aged, plump Lebanese or Indian guys who, from the look of it, had never acted a day in their lives. I’m guessing the casting directors had to get a bit desperate. Hm, I should send out some head shots…